Stop the Presses

I've been working with my editor at Curbed all day to bring you this breaking news. The David House (I swear, there's more to Hancock Park than this house, and I'll get to those houses soon, but there's a lot of David news these days) is having open houses and estate sales. Yes!!!!!

Okay so first up, Open Houses: Sunday October 2 and Sunday October 9 from 2pm to 5 pm and there's a Broker's Open on Tuesday October 4th from 11am to 2pm. I'm SO going.

Not breaking, but good news indeed.

Here's where it gets MIND-BLOWING: All of the Davids are going to be for sale!!!! There's no pre-sale, so you'll catch me camping outside 304 S. Rimpau for days before like it's the iPhone 5 or something. I'm GETTING one of those Davids if it kills me. So step in line behind me, fellas, there're still gonna be a couple Davids after I'm done with my spending spree.

Insider tip from the realtor: "I cannot guarantee it but I'm going to get the Estates professional (Sharon Yost Estates Sales) to try and get him to sell the jackets to go along with the statues.  Not a guarantee but I will try."

Even if the jackets aren't sold with the statues, the thought of owning a jacketed David is getting me through this Tuesday. I can just see me elbowing Eli Broad in the ribs as we trample over each other to place our red dots on these Davids. This is going to be WAR and I will win.

Infrequent Blogging: Part Deux

Merry Christmas! Come on back in and have some fun!

• Norwood Young keeps proving to be the gift that keeps on giving. I was recently contacted by documentarian and nobel peace prize contender Piotr Uzarowicz (gesundheit) about an inspirational film he's been working on that ponders questions like "Why are we here?" "What is love (baby don't hurt me)?" and "How did the David house get that way?" I gleefully present to you: Miracle on 3rd Street. (btw, whoever first steals a David when this place sells, you price gouge, I'll buy)

MIRACLE ON 3RD STREET from MADSTEEZ on Vimeo.

• Some nasty little buttlicker keeps throwing ruby slippers over power lines in LA. It's either one of the most on-the-nose commentaries on class relations or it's guerilla advertising for Wicked. You can see an example on the corner of Rossmore and 3rd. I always see it in my car, so I haven't taken a picture, but if anyone has one, please send it in and I'll post it here. And if anyone knows what the real story behind them is, let me know!

• I went for an evening stroll through HP about a week ago up and down Hudson and Rimpau. These houses have totally different auras in night and day and it's amazing to watch that transformation happen as the sun sets. I'm putting together a kind of tour for a future post so expect that soon.

• Keep following me on Curbed! I know we had a slow weekend thanks to Labor Day, but I'm back to my regular weekend warrior duties this weekend. There's a poll up there now to see which open house I should go to this weekend--check it out!

Infrequent Blogging: The Wrap-Up

So...it's been a while. I'm writing for Curbed LA now every weekend so at 4 posts a week (and with special guest posts tomorrow and Friday), you can still get my real estate sassiness on the regular. Just not in as often in Hancock Park. And that's a shame, I know. Hancock Park is my first real estate love. I've been learning a lot about the other neighborhoods, but driving through HP is like that awkward kiss at 16 that you'll cherish forever. Even if it was with a girl and you were terrified that this meant you'd have to get married.

I thought I'd just take a much-needed vacation from HoHP, but I'm working seven days a week now and finding the time for HoHP is just not happening. So instead of my usual posts, I'll come back every now and then and update with wrap ups of news from the last month about HoHP and some short tidbits on places I've visited. To start us off:

• The LA Times did a story on Norwood Young of the David House yesterday. It was actually an amazing interview. Despite Norwood's non-existent celebrity, the story made it to the front page. The front page! But it had everything in it: childhood trauma, plastic surgery mutilation, fights with neighbors, loss and rebirth, and a million different ways of saying "I'm so over this goddamn house." Definitely check it out.

• I saw this open house on Sunday at 368 South Rimpau and it was TERRIBLE. I loved it. It was built in the 60s, remodeled in the 70s, and again in the 80s and again in the 90s. It was totally schizophrenic. Everything was gilt. Mirrored ceiling above the dining room table. The master bedroom was MADE to be laughed at. All-in-all, a tear down if you have no sense of humor and tears streaming down your cheeks if you do.

• I have a column in CurbedLA where I write about terrible MLS photos and there are two hotspots in LA for terrible MLS photos. Santa Monica and... Hancock Park. The above is for 561 N Arden. Tragic, no?

• I went to this open house at 265 South McCadden a couple weeks ago. Saying the art in this place was eclectic is like saying the Pope is Catholic. There was a bed made to look like a nest (it was round and concave!) nestled between four birch stumps. There was a painting that looked like a 17th century war scene, but it had ferrets instead of people and they were all lime green and neon pink. I was in heaven.

Alright folks, til the next Wrap-Up! I promise, it won't be another month. And if you miss your usual Woody, hop on over to CurbedLA and check out my thoughts on real estate in the lesser neighborhoods of Los Angeles. While we're on the topic of laughable real estate and CurbedLA, spoiler alert: tomorrow I'm posting about a huge mansion with an aquarium that you won't want to miss.

450 S. June St

My part-time gig's been getting in the way of my blogging, but I can hardly complain--it still gets me into rich Angeleno's houses and as a mover for a luxury moving company, I get to see how the other half (1%?) live! Still doing that today, so it might be a while before I can get a real post up. Hope you all had a great fourth of July!

In the meantime, I have a good post coming up, you should all tune in on Saturday for the first of my CurbedLA posts, and a reader has tipped me off to a surprise which could get me jail time if I do my regular thing around Hancock Park this Friday. Apparently, the royal couple (pictured above) will be staying in Hancock Park at 450 S. June this Friday and the LAPD is already sick of all you paparazzi and threatening jail time. You can get the whole itinerary so you can act out their vacation in your mind here. I gotta go. I need to practice that royal wave!

St Brendan's Church (3rd and Van Ness)

Another departure from the houses to the buildings of Hancock Park

This is St. Brendon's Church in Hancock Park. I'm just going to skate past the whole religion thing--what can I say in a blog post that would do anything more than show my hatred? So let's skip the rant this time and go straight to the architecture:

It's pretty, no? I'm not an expert by any means on any kind of architecture, much less religious architecture. What little I know is telling me this is pretty standard fair for your typical medium-sized church. Still, it's a great building. My favorite part?

This. I love this so much. My friend who studies ravens in his spare time first showed me this church and for this reason: ravens have nested on St. Brendan's head, giving him a "Jesus with a crown of thorns" look taken to drag queen proportions. And with a poop-stained gown to match. I said I'd skip the rant and I feel justified since this picture says a million words.

Fictional History time: St. Brendan the Navigator sailed across the Atlantic Ocean to find the Garden of Eden. Along the way he encountered a sea monster on whose back he celebrated Easter because he mistook the monster for an island. He also met an Ethiopian devil and a man dressed entirely in hair who was fed by a sea otter. This is what you have to do to get a church named after you. People pray to this man. Not kidding.

I kind of wanted to go inside, but churches really freak me out. Has anyone else been inside and seen if it's pretty or not?

546 N Citrus Ave & A Special Announcement

Two weekend treats.

 

546 N. Citrus Ave - $1.1 Million

The first is this amazing house. It's like the cottage that homo-Sleeping-Beauty stayed in with her three fairy godmothers and a couple of woodland creatures (Bears?). The actual owner was a Broadway actress in the fifties who acted in shows like Gypsy and Sweet Charity, so the house is still pretty gay. I think that's the first time someone's used that expression with a positive connotation.

The house itself is pretty cute, but let's not beat around the bush. This place is ALL roof.

The asymmetrical shingling should be on the cover of every design publication. Or more likely, I can see fictional character Willy Wonka driving by and thinking to himself "Oh my god. I just got the best idea. I'll call it Laffy Taffy!"

Yes, this is one of those Hancock Park gems that, should it have been placed on a thoroughfare like 3rd, would be up there with the David House. I'd love to see this crazy joint get more recognition for its batshit craziness.

Speaking of crazy, guess who got the go-ahead to announce on his blog that he's been hired by Curbed? Me! Starting July 9th, I'll be Curbed LA's official weekend blogger (where you'll soon be able to contact me at woody@curbed.com). I'll be running around the city, going to open houses and reporting with my usual snark. Have no fear, though, I'll still keep Houses of Hancock Park alive and running. Happy Friday!

604 S. Rimpau Bl

Houses are being sold in Hancock Park.

Two weeks ago, one of the houses I blogged about on Rimpau finally sold. I've never thought to look back and see what houses sell and what don't. I've only ever been interested in open houses for the obvious voyeurism, but hearing that this place sold was rather jarring. These houses aren't open for me to walk in and enjoy, the reason they're open is to get sold. Of course I always knew that, but now going to open houses to almost no benefit of the client (other than my blogging which I'm sure made no difference) kind of feels like...the real estate equivalent of illegal music downloading? Maybe? I need to think about how I feel about this a little more.

I'm really glad this place sold. It's a great home that I made a lot of jokes about (duh), my favorite being that they ripped the backyard from a contemporary christian pop album cover. But apparently that outrageous photography worked in their favor.

A couple months back one of the homeowners commented on the post. He seemed to take it rather well. I wanted to respond; I tried writing multiple comment drafts, but they were terrible and I was terrified anyway. "I'm so glad you're so comfortable with my jokes at your expense!" is not the right way to respond. I finally found the right way to respond: I'm so glad my blog didn't negatively affect the sale of your home! Congratulations!